Researchers from Frontiers in Developmental Psychology studied over 400 teenagers to answer a simple question: does what parents do with their phones affect how their teens feel about social media? The study examined three behaviours: how often parents ignore their teens to use phones (called "phubbing"), whether families talk openly about social media, and whether these patterns connect to depression in teens.
The answer was yes—and the connection was stronger than many parents expect.
When parents are distracted, teens feel it online
Teens who frequently saw their parents scrolling instead of engaging with them reported more negative emotions when using social media themselves. These negative feelings were linked to higher rates of depressive symptoms. The mechanism is straightforward: your teen watches how you treat your phone and absorbs messages about what matters. When your phone comes first, they may feel less valued—and this shapes how they feel about their own online experiences.
Open conversations protect against depression
Families who had regular, non-judgmental discussions about social media saw a different pattern. Their teens experienced more positive emotions online and showed fewer depressive symptoms. You don't need to be a digital expert or lecture your child. Simply being willing to listen to what they encounter online—both positive and negative—appears genuinely protective.
Small changes, measurable impact
This study focused on correlations, meaning we can see the patterns but not prove one thing directly causes another. The sample was over 400 teens, but we don't know the exact ages or how diverse the group was. However, the findings suggest you don't need dramatic overhauls. Being more intentional about phone-free family time and asking curious questions about your teen's online life may matter more than you'd expect.
Build a healthier digital culture at home
- Create phone-free times during family meals or conversations—model the behaviour you want your teen to adopt.
- Ask open questions about what your teen sees and feels on social media, without judgment or lecturing.
- Notice when you reach for your phone around your teen, and pause intentionally at least once daily.