How many parents argue with their spouse about their children's education, and is that number changing? A 2026 study by the Institute of Policy Studies (IPS) asked parents this question and compared the answer with 2016. The Straits Times reported the findings and added advice from two Singapore family counsellors.
The article does not give the study's sample size or the ages of the children involved, so we cannot say how well it covers parents of younger children. It also does not say how often couples argue or how serious the arguments are.
From 43% to 60%: more couples are arguing about education
The IPS study found that the proportion of parents who reported arguing with their spouses over their children's education rose to 60% from 43% in 2016. This is parents' own reports of arguing. The article does not explain why the figure rose, so we should not read a cause into it.
Why a tuition debate is rarely just about tuition
The counsellors' explanations below are professional observations, not results from the IPS study.
- Sharon Koh of the Counselling and Care Centre says one parent may stress academic achievement while the other prefers a more holistic approach.
- One spouse may want a reputable but costlier enrichment programme, while the other wants an affordable option closer to home.
- Arguments can also spread to screen time and who does which daily parenting tasks.
Koh says the way partners respond can deepen the conflict. She has seen one partner correct the other, who then resists or complies unhappily. Theresa Pong of The Relationship Room says the worries underneath can differ. A parent pushing for tuition may fear the child will struggle later, while the other fears the child is under too much pressure. Often, she says, both want the best for the child and disagree on how to get there.
Different approaches are fine, say counsellors, if you work as a team
Koh stresses that working together does not mean having identical parenting approaches. Couples can talk about why each holds their beliefs, where they can be flexible and how to support each other. She also says children can learn to handle differences by watching their parents disagree respectfully.
She adds that what worked with younger children may work less well as they grow and form their own views. With teens, she says, parents should give more space for them to manage their studies and build independence, because attempts at greater control can prompt resistance or withdrawal.
Three ways counsellors suggest settling the tuition debate
These steps come from the counsellors' experience. The article does not report testing them in a study.
- Use an "I" statement, such as "I'm worried our child will struggle without extra help", and listen to your spouse's worries before defending yours.
- Talk through what you both want for your child, what matters most and what you can each let go of.
- Ask each other regularly how you are coping and what support you need, even in small moments.