If you've ever wondered whether your child is actually getting anything out of those classroom activities designed to teach kindness, emotions, and friendship skills—you're not alone. Most research on social-emotional learning (SEL) in preschools focuses on whether programs work, but rarely asks children themselves what they think. A new study from Norway's SELMA project changes that by doing something refreshingly simple: it asked 5-year-olds directly about their experiences.
The research team interviewed 19 children about three types of guided play activities: interactive story time, educational videos about feelings and friendships, and hands-on activities where children do things together. The results are eye-opening for parents trying to understand what actually sticks with young learners.
What Children Loved Most
The clear winner? Activities where children could do things themselves. Hands-on, collaborative activities—where kids worked together on projects or problems—kept them engaged and excited. Children weren't just passive observers; they felt ownership of what they were learning. When asked about these moments, children could connect what they learned directly to their own lives and friendships.
Story time and videos were hit-or-miss. When teachers read stories actively—stopping to ask questions, getting children involved, and really engaging with them—children loved it. But when videos or books felt like sitting and listening without participation, children's interest dropped noticeably. The magic ingredient? A teacher who was present and interactive, not just pressing play or turning pages.
What This Means for Singapore Families
Singapore parents often juggle high academic expectations with the desire to raise emotionally intelligent, kind children. This research has an important message: social-emotional skills aren't something you can download into children's brains through passive watching. They need to do things, practice with friends, and have adults who genuinely engage with them in the moment.
In our context, where enrichment classes and structured learning are common, this study is a gentle reminder that the most valuable learning for young children happens when they're actively involved. Whether it's at nursery, at home, or in an enrichment class, children benefit most from interactive, collaborative experiences where they can touch, build, talk, and create together.
The research also validates what many parents instinctively know: a caring teacher (or parent) who takes time to really engage makes all the difference. A hastily done lesson or activity, no matter how well-intentioned, won't land the same way as one delivered with genuine connection and participation.
Three Practical Takeaways for Your Home
- Prioritize hands-on and collaborative play: When teaching your child about feelings, sharing, or friendship, create activities where they can do something together—build with blocks while talking about teamwork, cook together while discussing sharing, or create art while exploring emotions. Skip the passive screen time when you can.
- Be present during learning moments: If your child's nursery or enrichment class uses stories, videos, or lessons about social skills, ask your child about it and continue the conversation at home. Your engagement amplifies what they learn. Simply asking "What did you feel when that happened?" helps cement the lesson.
- Look for "doing" over "showing": When evaluating nurseries, enrichment classes, or learning activities, ask how much time children spend actively participating versus watching or listening. The research shows children learn social-emotional skills best through hands-on experience, not observation alone.